Food by the Gearhead's Wife

Ontario Gothic

Grant Wood’s original American Gothic depicts the couple in their traditional roles of man and woman.  The man’s pitchfork symbolizes hard labor, and the flowers over the woman’s right shoulder suggest domesticity.   In this Ontario parody, the libation held confidently in the woman’s hand symbolizes the key to ” just rolling with it”. The welding mask and scary, square, purple, space eye suggests the gearhead  may have a tendency toward conspiracy theory and internet paranoia.  Most odd is  that the couple are not standing in front of their own house…

Things I (the wife) like:

• chocolate
• driving a standard car with bare feet [gearhead edits: that’s illegal!] {wife edits wryly: I live on the wild side]
• eating with family and friends
• body surfing
• perfecting cocktails (and after a few, cockteases) [wife edits: can I say that?!} [gearhead edits vehemently: absolutely not]
• strawberry picking
• the golden hue and expanse of a wheat field

Things the gearhead likes:

• beer
• the smell of garlic cooking in butter
• European sports cars
• tools
• speed
• James Brown soul funk

Things the gearhead has learned during our years together:

• when a tasty dish is placed before him, not to ask, “what is this muck!?”
• that a meal doesn’t always have to include meat
• that serving salad onto his plate with his bare hands is not teaching our children proper table etiquette
• that vacuuming is foreplay

Things I (the wife) have learned during our years together:

• what a head gasket is
• that the car’s oil should be checked (and changed) regularly [gearhead edits: it’s the life blood of the car!]
• how to use a pair of pliers to turn the ignition switch dangling from a nest of wires beneath the dash board [wife edits: a car we own!  I’m not into breaking the law! oh, except for the aforementioned barefoot driving]
• that a glass of wine and candlelight does wonders to fuzz out dust bunnies, conceal laundry piles and soften imperfections of all kinds [wife edits: I always drink responsibly] [gearhead edits: rolling eyes]
• that a beautifully grilled steak with caramelized onions will soothe the savage beast

Yes we both have day jobs, yes we’ve procreated but, as mentioned above, the gearhead’s paranoid tendencies prevent me from writing more here.  If you really want to know, I’m sure your web detective skills will satisfy your information craving [gearhead edits: that sounds like a challenge!  they’re going to sleuth us out!  they’re going to show up at our house!] [wife edits: see what I mean?].